Watch out ..

..there's a menopausal woman about. For weeks I have been feeling tearful, short tempered and generally below par, plus quite few more on the list.

1. Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling Irregular heart beat
2. Irritability
3. Mood swings, sudden tears
4. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
5. Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles
6. Loss of libido
7. Dry vagina
8. Crashing fatigue
9. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
10. Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
11. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
12. Disturbing memory lapses
13. Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence)
14. Itchy, crawly skin
15. Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons
16. Increased tension in muscles
17. Breast tenderness
18. Headache change: increase or decrease
19. Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
20. Sudden bouts of bloat
21. Depression
22. Exacerbation of existing conditions
23. Increase in allergies
24. Weight gain
25. Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
26. Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
27. Changes in body odor
28. Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head)
29. Tingling in the extremities
30. Gum problems, increased bleeding
31. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odour
32. Osteoporosis (after several years)
33. Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier
34. Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, 'whooshing,' buzzing etc.

I like to think this is me BUT this is probably nearer to mark

Just stay out of my way that's all I can say, I may shout at you, breakdown and sob or inexplicably laugh uncontrollably.